Which would you prefer?
I wear a mask daily. I wear my mask as soon as I can, as soon as I step out of my safe place. I wear it in my smile, in my tone, I wear it with my clothing, under my make up…I wear my mask with myself at times. The only time I take this mask off, is when I’m within the confines of my secure space, with my children. My skin is raw and open, needing to feel their soft touch, their warm breath, their lips and cheeks. My pores open, feel as though they are enveloping every bit of essence, that may be lifting off their soft child skin. My eyes twinkle, my smile more predominate, my laughter and voice warmer or harsher depending on the circumstances. Then I catch myself, I see myself in a mirror, in the reflection of a tv, or in a glass window. I gawk for a moment, unrecognizable. At times I’ll rub my face, or my arm to make sure it’s me. In that moment, I realize, it’s all just a mask. That what ever mask I need, I put it on for that instance. That the mask may be my authenticity. That no matter how far I strip these masks down…there’s no foundation. No base. Am I just a myriad of outside influences that have permeated layer after layer, that my own inner-construct is that of just others past experiences, or are these histories within us all? A constructed base to build upon? In order to create our own masks?
I see in the sky a fish…he is swimming freely in such a vastness of cerulean.
I see a big tenebrous fish in the sky…he is gaining on our little friend…
That vastness of the blue has become a whole lot smaller.
Swim little fish…SWIM